Narrowly Escaping: Healthy Ways To Pause
You’ve probably heard of ‘escapism’. More than likely, you’ve practiced some form of escapism in your life, and perhaps even within the last week! When we hear the term escapism a lot of us immediately have a negative connotation or experience with the concept — something akin to this.
What is escapism?
Simply put, escapism at its core is purposeful disconnection and distraction from reality. I like to say, it’s for when you’ve had a reality overdose. This disconnection creates the space needed to sometimes, quite literally, catch your breath from your current life circumstances. It can be a way to recharge your energy before you have to face life again. Escapism comes in many forms such as reading books, watching television, listening to music, playing games of any kind, eating or cooking food, sharing stories, and daydreaming.
Without escapism the anxieties and stresses that present themselves in your daily life can become overwhelming. When you haven’t had a vacation in a while and it feels like you are bursting at the seams with frustration or exhaustion, it’s a good indicator you may need a little escape. When you allow that to happen, you usually come back to life and/or challenges with a clearer mind.
Isn’t escapism “bad”?
Like most things in life, too much of a good thing can be bad and this is no different. Escapism is a tool that you have in your possession that can be used in a helpful or hurtful manner. In college I dated a guy who used escapism in a detrimental way.
When we moved in together, I realized he had a problem with reality. He would spend hours upon hours playing video games, one in particular. Every free moment he had ,from the time he got up until he went to bed, he played this game…sometimes staying up for days straight. It was an online community made up of people from around the world. It became apparent to me as he ditched chores, stopped paying bills, missed work — subsequently getting fired, and ignored me that he felt more connected to his “virtual life” versus the one we shared together. It was the leading reason I broke up with him. He refused to exist here and poke his head out of the virtual clouds to enjoy real life. As more problems appeared in reality he disappeared mentally into the intangible world. He had escaped to a place that I could not follow, despite my best efforts.
He was addicted to this video game, which he quit his second job attempt to unsuccessfully make a living from it. Can you guess how that turned out? Drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and especially the entertainment industry, can all be fuel to the fire that escapism takes advantage of. Those looking to “numb” themselves from life have many available (and often legal) options to do so.
Thankfully, there are quite a few ways that escapism can take a more helpful, purposeful, and positive part in your life. If you keep in mind that escapism is an emotional treat to be enjoyed in moderation you can navigate it with ease. Become mindful of escapism and choose something that you feel is easy to pick up or put down at will. It should be a choice, not a necessity that you feel out of control with that. It should be something that doesn’t have you forgetting your priorities — like bills, relationships, work, hygiene, etc.
Quit running
It’s hard to view escapism as beneficial when we see it abused so much around us front and center. When you’re “running” for release not pleasure, you’re probably running from something else in your life. When you try to treat the pain not the wound of what’s causing you to avoid things with side projects and unhealthy distractions you do a disservice to yourself.
The key I’ve found is to make my real life, the one in the NOW, more pleasurable. The more you enjoy life, the less you feel you need to escape it. Present, enjoyable, real-time experiences are usually more enriching than escapism.
Choosing a real experience over a substitute for one requires action from you but will be more rewarding. Instead of telling your friends you can’t go out with them to stay inside binge watching TV, take the opportunity to experience something real. That show will be there when you get back. The video game will keep your save. The book is marked. You have nothing to lose but building your personal relationships to gain. A lot of escapism involves alienating yourself away from your personal relationships which can cause overall and lasting damage.
That’s why it’s important to choose real life interactions that you will enjoy — to prevent the need to “escape” as often. How many people want to escape when they’re having a laugh with friends? Or enjoying an amazing hike? Or engaging in a thoughtful discussion?
Try to view “escaping” as something you’re consciously choosing to do after being productive. Make the intention as a goal to go back to whatever you are taking a break from. I used to play games excessively as well. I came to the conclusion the only way to address my escapism was to replace it with progressively less “bad” escapisms as I slowly disengaged from them all together. Changing your association with escapism can also be a boost when moving away from the unhealthy aspects of what you’re wasting your time doing. I don’t even call it escapism anymore, I call it ‘self-care/me-time’.
“Good” escapism
As I mentioned we all need a release, something that we can check out with, while we slow down, breathe, and relax.
There so many healthy ways to recharge and escape that I’d like to list a few of the common forms of escapism to get your started on your own path to being present in your life.
Television/Movies/Video games: As I shared video games were a problem with myself and my ex as a form of escaping. I didn’t realize how unhappy we both were in the relationship until I got out. We were using them as an escape from dealing with the issues we had as a couple. I now try to be more mindful in the entertainment avenues I choose. I do not usually watch what I consider toxic television shows or movies.
Of course, I have a guilty pleasure for one show or two but it’s more balanced than the daily reality television I used to be wrapped up in. I also steer away from movies that I feel I won’t learn from or be inspired by. As for video games, I haven’t found many I find suit my taste anymore and have only played one in the last six years.
Food/Cooking/Alcohol/Drugs: I have a hard time admitting that food and I don’t always get along. Sometimes I skip meals and then find myself scrambling to get food when the clock ticks midnight. Most consumable things can be used as a way to avoid your feelings. I did (and sometimes still do) eat late because I’m feeling stressed, anxious, or tired. And you know what kind of food is available at that hour? The unhealthy kind.
The more healthy, fresh, and creative food I’ve started to make the more I’ve enjoyed eating and seen a noticeable flattering change in my habit with it. I also no longer go grocery shopping when I’m feeling that way to avoid making bad decisions. I’ve also decided for me, alcohol was not bringing anything to my life so I quit, and can honestly say I’ve not missed it in the last eight months.
Exercise/Sex/Sports: These are all physical forms of escape that release a endorphins and excess energy we may be holding onto. Focusing on what you want to gain from partaking in these can change how it affects you. If you feel like you aren’t strong, use the gym to build muscle. If you like the closeness of being with someone, take the time to learn their body and let them learn yours. If you’re playing a sport what are you hoping to get out of it? Take the time to make connections with yourself in each of these instances.
Do you struggle with being able to get into a mindset that facilitates a place where you can truly experience a break from the boring, monotonous, stressful and anxiety inducing situations? Can’t seem to carve out quality self-care? Try using free guided meditations on YouTube, schedule a routine including a recharging nap, make bathtime an experience, explore a new local environment, or even just practicing simple grounding can be a way to experience quality self-care, to better navigate around other, possibly, harmful ways of escaping the realities that sometimes plague us.
If you find that you are really struggling to accomplish moving away of from you’ve deemed unhealthy, overabundant, and noticeable forms of escape it is recommended that you work with a therapist to improve your ability to care for yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, on a long-term basis — so that “escaping” is a thing of the past for you.
Natali is the founder of MySoulrenity and a life coach living an eclectic but purposeful lifestyle currently on the East Coast. She is also the ‘highly conscious’ co-host of the weekly comedy podcast Stoned N’ Social.
