I’ve been poly in some form or another for about 14 years and I still feel unsure at times. What’s helped me is taking a break from polyamory as needed. If you are feeling this way, I would seriously consider pushing pause on being “active poly" and take time to address the issues you mentioned. A question I found myself circling was my reason for polyamory. Was it for myself? Was it for my partner? Was it a way to fulfill certain needs? Or was I using it for voids? If my partners couldn’t understand and support my need to pause, then they weren’t the right partner for me. The more honest you are with yourself the better your results. I teach a lot of classes on the subject and close them all with this: Just because you were polyamorous yesterday doesn’t mean you are today or will be tomorrow. Polyamory is not a fate and it certainly isn’t for everyone.

Good luck out there!