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Don’t Count On Anyone For Anything
When I initially found out I was a dismissive love avoidant years ago I wasn’t particularly shocked. More than anything I wanted to understand how I’d gotten to that place internally. Often described in psychology circles with words and phrases like:
- Focused on self-sufficiency
- Innate need for independence — (believing needing/relying on others is weak)
- Experience less regret in life
- Often think feelings of attachment are strings that hold you down
- Sometimes feel empathy and sympathy will lead to disappointments
These all sounded kind of harsh to me but did fit who I was at that time like a glove. It can be a startling discovery that you view common things like friendships, love, relationships and more so very differently from most people around you.
I decided to work with a therapist to see if I could break some of these embedded notions and beliefs I held. It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand how others felt another way, I just didn’t necessarily think that I needed to be like them, nor them like me. So, I made my goal to become more balanced within these ideas. In each new situation or developing interaction with people I wouldn’t jump to my knee jerk reactions. Instead I would sit with initial feelings and dig deeper until I…
